We were happy. Until I met Gary Buckler. Fate had dealt her second blow!

I was in John Grose Ford one, sunny, spring day in 2001, waiting in the service area when I heard a Harrier jump jet land in the forecourt...intrigued; I went outside for a look. I couldn't see anything unusual. There was another black ka parked behind ours and some Ford mechanics were  looking at it and then the bonnet was lifted..."hmmm, you're not normal" I thought and went over for a nosey.

Gary is a giant of a man and definitely one of the friendliest people I have ever met. He showed me all around his Ka and the 1.6RST conversion that Severnvalley Motorsport had done for him, to which he had added a Wizards of Nos kit. The Ka looked very tidy with the original MSD kit on his black bumpered Panther Black Ka. Inside were a pair of Ford Racing Sparco seats, an Elliot rev counter in the right centre eyeball vent and a NOS controller under the centre dash panel. Other than the highly tuned RST in the front, it had a strut brace, koni adjustable damping suspension, Cosworth brakes supplied by Godspeed and was fully fitted with steel bushes and rose-joints.

The Ka had a few minor hiccups but they had big effects usually on a race day. One such occasion resulted in a very kind gentleman butchering some air-con pipes from a brand new Maseratti in order for us to repair a charge-cooler leak...top bloke! On another occasion, she didn't want to run at all, she would fire up but the revs would fall away and she would splutter and die. I left Gary at the track and took his wife, Margaret home. Whilst having a cup of tea, we heard the familiar jump jet noise approaching...and approaching nicely too! Gary came round the corner and handed me the ECU...whilst the Ka was still running! We couldn't understand it but she ran sweetly.

It didn't put me off! Both Tracey and I were getting divorced from our other partners and the result was going to be a substantial amount in settlements. At the time, we both needed to enjoy ourselves and perhaps didn't use our money to its best ability. I had struck up a relationship with the lads at Severnvalley Motorsport ( SVM ) in Telford and with Sharren, their receptionist/admin type person in the past, who, although not working there anymore, was always on the end of a phone to help me discuss my requirements.

I wanted at least 200bhp but did not want a turbo, I had plans for a 2 litre zetec on throttle bodies, (tb's) but at the time, that figure was not possible. Tiger Sports cars at Thorney Toll started to get interested in my plan but were dubious about the amount of room  that we could get for the tb's between the engine and bulkhead. They are the people who build that silly  "Westfield/Caterham" type car that got to 60mph in under 3 seconds being driven by Tiff Needell on 5th gear.

I remember one brilliant day at Ford Fair when a chap called Stunty laughed as I filled out my ka Klub application and stated my intentions...a 2litre 270bhp Turbo ZVH Ford Ka, ( just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it...? ) The term 'ZVH' has become very common now. It is derived from the Z for zetec, (referring to the engine block used) and VH from CVH, as in 1.6litre Escort RS Turbo from which the 8 valve head is used and married to the zetec block. It is a reasonably easy hybrid to build which produces a very strong, torquey engine.

Modern thinking now has been led by Ian Howell of Fiesta Frenzy and the boys at A1 Rallysport in developing turbo's for the 16 valve heads, creating full-on zetec engines that are strong and like to rev higher as well. I took my little baby up there in June 2002 and happily discussed with Kevan Kemp, the boss, how soon she would be done. I mentioned that Trax was in several weeks time; Kevan smiled and said that wouldn't be a problem......

I had never realised the extent of work and exactly how much technical stuff was going into my engine. Every moving component has been lightened, balanced and blueprinted. Lightened = the lighter a component is, the less energy that is required to move it, which leaves more energy to actually turn the road wheels. Balanced = a component that is lightened needs to be balanced in order to ensure smooth, reliable running. Blueprinting = is mainly a race engine process wherein all the products are matched to ensure a more accurate fit.

At the time, SVM had an engine builder called Ron working for them in a 'secret' location. They kept customers and the general public away from the actual location of the workshop. Their reasoning behind it is that it is their technology, they have invested the time and effort to build these strong engines and also suffered the mistakes and the costs. It is a business to them and they want to keep it to themselves.Initially, I didn't have a problem with this as my intention was to stay a loyal customer for years to come...I found later that it would not be possible!

To help me get through the following weeks without going crazy, we went on holiday to Greece. But even there, I couldn't stop talking about this 'fantastically' powerful ka that was being built for me. I am sure a lot of people thought I was a dreamer.The weeks slowly rolled along. Trax came and went.

I don't mind if something is late, but I do mind when I am not told why. Eventually, I was told that Ron was waiting for parts from California, US of A..."What parts?" I asked, and the reply was the pistons. They are supposedly of a specially manufactured process and that the manufacturing company in the US was not going to do 4 one-off pistons until a gap appeared in a production run.'Ok', I thought, might be a load of bull but I believe what I am told and go home to wait patiently...again.

To this day, I haven't actually seen the pistons inside my engine but I do look forward to an occasion when the head needs to come off and we can see exactly what is fitted.On one visit, I dropped off my front brake conversion as supplied by Godspeed, Cosworth 4x4 rear discs, drilled and grooved, Cosworth callipers and Mintex pads for £460. Not the best conversion possible but adequate for the time-being.

Another set-back was the Pace radiator.Gary's ka ran with a custom one-off rad from Pace that was about 30mm deep but they wanted a deeper one as mine was a 2 litre.Unfortunately, Pace sent a new rad to the same specification as Gary's. SVM weren't too concerned and felt it was up to the job so fitted it anyway.I have found since that it perhaps isn't the size that is a problem, just the lack of airflow available in a reasonably standard looking front end of the Ka.

The oddness came from her front-end. Both the grills had gone to make way for the engine radiator and the charge-cooler pre-radiator. Just enough to catch your eye and make you think that something wasn't right, but not enough to be in your face.And she sat differently...? On closer inspection I noticed that they had fitted Koni suspension all round, a nice generous touch that they did without asking or charging for.

There were a few minor little jobs still to be done on her and yes, I was initially worried about driving her. So much so that I asked Darren, the chief mechanic, to take me for a spin in her first, showing how they wanted me to run her in.
I was shocked as to how quick she was on a light throttle! Basically, they were happy with me to get her warm, enjoy her in every gear but not to go much over 90mph and cool her down nicely.

Eventually, it was time for me to leave.
Nervously, I got in and fired her up...absolutely awesome.
Nervously, I started to pull away, the 4 paddle clutch is extremely stiff and she stalled...!
Nervously, I fired her up again and managed to pull away...absolutely freakin' awesome!

The power was incredible!
The torque was incredible!
The noise from the engine was incredible!
The whole package was amazing!

I had to get petrol straightaway and totally enjoyed all the looks she was getting as I rumbled in. I adored how she looked, just sat there, while I paid...she looked mean. To me, she looked menacing, almost a 'sleeper' but with fantastic performance she had to start the slaying...I couldn't wait

Out on the open road, she was stupidly quick. Overtaking was a breeze...frightening but I found very quickly that the smallest gap became an overtaking opportunity. I had to slow down. I tried to keep her steady at about 70mph, but she just wanted to be off...all the time! On the M6 I had to stop at Corley services...the emotion was too much. I pulled into the car park, got out and  walked away, looking back constantly to make sure I wasn't dreaming.I called Tracey and cried when she answered. I couldn't speak for minutes and then when I tried to convey just how fast our ka was, I started to bubble again and gave up. A coffee and a Burger King was needed. I shuffled into the building and couldn't look people in the eye......but going out, I strutted like an arrogant cock...not one of these people here knew what I was driving. I felt strong and invincible...and couldn't wait to get back into her.

On the whole, that first trip was a blur. At any speed, she always had more. Going slow, she sounded mean and potent. Going fast, you were driving and had to concentrate...she was everything I wanted. My first victim?
That would have been an Audi A4 on the A1. Where I join the A1, it is a beautiful new piece of tarmac, 4 lanes wide with swoops and curves that are a pleasure. As I came along the slip road, the A1 was deserted and the Audi passed me on the main carriageway, happily wafting along in his 100mph+ world of comfort and quiet luxury...tee-hee! The Freak had passed him before I left the slip road and continued to rocket away at a  frightening pace. 'Oops! Supposed to be running her in!' I told myself and backed off. He gained quite quickly and I am sorry to say, that I started to play with him. Just kept accelerating enough to show him that I had more than enough to deal with him.

It was dark by now, and we started to approach more traffic so I began to back off properly...whoosh! and suddenly the road behind me was lit a bright orange, I could see the flames in my rear view mirrors and they lit up the surrounding area! The Audi backed off completely and I never saw him again! SVM had told me that she would 'flame' occasionally when backing off due to the ignition timing being out slightly whilst she was being run in. Put simply, with the timing out, you don't get a full burn, this results in the engine running with less power and cooler due to being 'wetter' but that fuel can be burnt as it travels down a hot exhaust. I got her home quietly after that and had a much-needed cup of tea.

The next couple of weeks involved almost 1500 miles of running in. I did this by taking her out at every opportunity, warming her up and then stretching her legs in every gear, not thrashing her but letting the engine pull as it wanted to.I met a new friend one night on my way back from Peterborough. I had been out playing with Saff cossies for the evening and noticed another 'victim' closing in from behind. How did I notice him? He had blue bulbs in his side lights, boy racer I thought and kept my eye on him when suddenly we were both overtaken by a Mercedes coupe that was trying to break the sound barrier. That stirred the 'boyracer' behind me and he started to gain in preparation for pulling out...I floored it and went and had an evil chuckle as he had to pull back in. In town we pulled up together and he relayed his version of what had happened...he had been following me and noticed the fat pipe and had every intention of showing this 'boy-racer' in his ka what quick really was! He was driving an Almera SRi and soon after this incident he sold it and bought a Saff Cossie

A week before Christmas, she was on 1300 miles and the trip back to SVM would clock up the rest so it was time to get her back and set up properly. They wanted her for a couple of days to check things properly but I could have her back before Christmas... This is where my relationship with SVM started to break down. I didn't have her back and as it was Christmas, they had shut up shop until the New Year. I was incredibly disappointed at missing the Carlisle meet and when I eventually got hold of SVM, they apologised straightaway and I calmed down instantly. I just wanted her back. Her first ka Klub outing was the Whitby meet organised by Chuckas. I got myself a passenger called SkinnyD to read the maps and off we popped.

We played with whatever was available. A bloke in his Astra coupe enjoyed being beat by a little ka and as there was a rally going on near Whitby, we also got to overtake a rally car too! The meet was very pleasant and I enjoyed meeting all my new friends, but there hadn't really been an opportunity  to show what the Freak could do...until we left.
Our little convoy was moving pleasantly along a piece of dual carriageway, with the Freak bringing up the rear.I let her go and roared past the klubbers but not for long, the traffic was backed up solid and we were reduced to a standstill.
I had not fitted a water temp gauge at this point and failed to notice the increased heat until there was steam coming from the right rear corner of the bonnet...we squeezed through the traffic and got her onto the hard shoulder.

Over the next couple of months, she burned out 2 alternators. Not good - as the engine needs to be dropped in order to remove the alternator. She had an almost constant problem with fuel leaks from the injectors and went back a couple of times for these problems. At one point I found the inlet manifold was not bolted up correctly and I could loosen the bolts with my fingers.

Then came Performance Ford Magazine and their North v South shoot-out. Qualifying had already taken place oop north. The Scots had a fastest FWD time of 14.34secs in a Fiesta zetec-S...not too shabby! It came to our turn on Sat, 31st May. A glorious sunny day that made me a little apprehensive, turbo's prefer cool, damp air. The time came for my first ever run...nerves were starting to jangle. I tried to sit quiet and watch the other cars running and how things went...but gave up. If you are going to do something then just get in there and do it! I got the Freak and lined up in the queue. Although I was beside a 3 door cossie, the marshals put me against a  Fiesta XR2i when I got to the start line...oh well, here we go! I positioned the front wheels over a wet patch in the forming up area, built up the revs and dropped the clutch...suddenly, I had people's attention, 'a ka shouldn't be doing that...?' as smoke began to pour from the tyres and the ka shook itself forwards. The Fiesta was already in stage and so it just required me to get into position and we would be off...I crept her  forward gently, the Christmas tree lit up and we were off! The Freak wheel span, blatted and wriggled all over the place, I screamed and hooted like a loon inside the ka and tried to keep her in a straight line....oops...rev limiter....change up.....bit of correction....oops rev limiter again! The Fiesta was nowhere to be seen, but I wasn't interested, I just wanted to head-butt the horizon as quickly and as hard as possible1 I came out at the top and piled straight back into the queue again...that was fantastic, it lasted seconds but was totally thrilling. I suddenly realised what all the fuss was about! People were taking a lot more interest in her and asking loads of questions. Then the guy that had been in the  Fiesta came along. "You got a 13.9!!!" he says, Dumbfounded, I asked him how he knew that? "It came up on the board as I was still going up the strip!", he answered!!!

She was away for 6 weeks this time, the problem being there was a lack of decent CVH heads that could be built to my spec. I went to collect her the day before the North v South final. I had qualified 3rd in the FWD class and was keen to win it. And once again, I was presented with another £600 bill...this wasn't getting any funnier! But, of course, life gets funnier everyday...!

Underneath a standard ka, there is a fuel filter to the rear left. This is no longer necessary on the freak and so was removed by SVM. They had failed to secure the fuel line that was now operating under pressure...hence a few litres of Shell's best all across the M6 and a £200 recovery bill for me. I got up early Sunday morning to make a start on repairs and then get her to the final. I had to wait for the shops to open at 10am which knocked me back a bit but then I could buy some petrol hose clips and some rubber fuel line at the right diameter. About an hours work and she was done, nice and tidy and  still works today...all for a couple of quid! Quick shower then I set off to Pod.

I parked up, grabbed my driving licence and money and started walking to the signing-on office as an announcement came over the speaker system, "no more signing-on!" I found the PF boys and we tried to bargain me a place, all I wanted was one run, I was that confident! But unfortunately, the strip was very busy and no more cars would be allowed. The PF boys had seen fit to organise the final on a normal RWYB day...hmmm? To put the icing on the cake, the fastest FWD of the day was...a slower time than my qualifier...oh well.

The Great Ka Kamping Meets of 2003 came along, I was determined not to miss the second one and went up there with Helen. We led a convoy of 3 kas that I took over Hard Knott and Wrynose Pass, at almost midnight, in the rain...what an experience! But now I know the Freak can climb almost vertical pieces of wet, sheep-infested hillside!
Even though it pee'd down for almost the whole weekend, we had a thoroughly good time Going home, I went for it. The Freak had not really been tested for any long distance high speed driving so I just et her go.
She did ok ;-) But I also collected a speed ticket on the M180 I managed to stand on the brakes enough and the recorded speed was 79mph and so got offered the chance of a speed seminar, rather than points...I took the seminar.

We also had the first GT night at Woody's. I gave a couple of passenger rides even though I could feel she wasn't 100%, I could smell exhaust fumes in the cabin and didn't know why. A little later, I found that the exhaust elbow was hanging on by 1 bolt to the turbo...not good! That would  explain the smell then! 2 of the bolts had sheared and 2 had rattled themselves free. A common enough problem I believe and easily cured  by putting in 10mm studs. I got the lads at work to do the drilling.

I visited Harvey Gibbs and introduced myself, saying I would like my ka to be looked after and serviced here. Anne politely told me that they only deal with Cosworth and RS type vehicles...I introduced the Freak, they were impressed and I am happy with their service and workmanship. Harvey set her up on the rollers for me as that had never been done. I was very pleased when Ian Howell turned up as well. Both of them were impressed with how she developed her power. 221bhp at 5200rpm with 12psi She only runs 12psi because she is still on mechanical injection and it cannot feed enough fuel for a 2 litre engine. I am currently speaking to Ian about which management and injectors to run. We will see about 320bhp...I think  that will be enough.